Monday, May 11, 2009

Ahhh bloody hell!!!

I have been sitting here for a good 30 minutes trying to think of what to blog about. I was going to go on about the purpose and benefits of an initiatory path. Possibly muse on the personalities we chose to project on a daily basis. But the more I stared at the screen the clearer it became that my mind is not clear enough to focus on on subject long enough to write at length.

Right now I am not a happy person. I don't know if I would go so far as to say I am depressed. I am just very unsatisfied with my current station in life. As a "sorcerer" it should just be a matter of picking my targets and creating change. The only problem is that I feel there is so much to change and so much work to be done it's hard to know where to start. It's had me quite a funk for now. It's like being back to spell casting 101. Power is useless without direction, and action, I know this. I just can't seem to find my new direction. I feel scattered in a lot of ways.

About initiation for a second. I recently underwent my first initiation in an occult/martial arts system that I have been training in for a few months (more info on that will be available soon). Strong spiritual experiences for me have always had two effects on me, they leave me with lots of questions, and for some time I am very open and emotional. I don't usually do emotional. It's like someone gave Spock a hit of E and started playing the Smiths.

Ok so I don't really have anything to talk about. I'm out!

1 comment:

Modred said...

A shadow is the leeward darkness...if there is nothing, how can there be a shadow?

-------------------------------

Gaily bedight,
A gallant night
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of El Dorado.

But he grew old --
This knight so bold --
And -- o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like El Dorado.

And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow --
"Shadow," said he,
"Where can it be --
This land of El Dorado?"

"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied --
"If you seek for El Dorado."

~E.A.P. "Eldorado"